Today as Tod left for work he grabbed the can opener.
Me: Hey wait! You can't take my can opener.
Tod: Why?
Me: Ummmm because I use it. All the time.
Tod: Well now I need it. At work (grabbing cans of tuna from the pantry).
Me: You're going to eat tuna at work?
Tod: Yeah. I figured instead of eating out for lunch, I could eat tuna.
Me: That's all you want to eat?
Tod: (Grabbing a banana) Sure...and I'll have some fruit with it.
Me: Okaaaaay...bring it back tonight. We'll get you your own can opener for work.
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Tonight Tod came home from work with the can opener and the pack of tuna cans. Two missing.
Me: Sooooooo...you brought it all back?
Tod: Yeah...things didn't go very well at work with the tuna.
Me: Why's that.
Tod: Well, first of all, my office isn't that big so the smell just really takes over the place. Plus I dropped the first can in the toilet so I was like 'Screw this' ya know...
Me: Why were you in the bathroom with a can of tuna? Do I even want to know...
Tod: Well I figured I could isolate the smell best by opening my can in the bathroom over the toilet. We don't have tons of cleaning supplies so I figured the tuna juice could just drip into the toilet then I could flush the juice and the smell down once it was open. But I dropped it in the toilet. Tuna juice, toilet water all over me.... Ohhhhhh I was so PISSSSSSSED!
Me: Tod --------------------------- Okay so did you go get lunch then?
Tod: No, I didn't want to waste my tuna so I drove to Smith's parking lot and pulled up next to a garbage can where I tried to open the second can...over the garbage can...but then I dropped this can too.
Me: PEEING IN MY PANTS You dropped the tuna can in a trash can?
Tod: Yeah but then I pulled it out and ate it.
Me: So you ate out of a dumpster.
Tod: It wasn't a dumpster. It was a garbage can.
Me: Ahhhh...
Tod: So I finally opened the can of tuna and was eating it in the parking lot in 110 degree heat and realized I didn't have any water....I don't know how often you eat tuna but it's like eating crackers with no water. I had to choke down every single bite just to finish my lunch. I was like...gagging...
5 comments:
I have tears streaming down my face right now from laughing so hard. Thanks! I needed a good laugh.
I know this probably doesn't sound right, but I love your husband.
That is AWESOME.
I stumbled on this after searching Chuck Liddell and found this, it was very funny.
HOW is this the first time I have read this?!?! I don't usually laugh out loud but i was literally laughing out loud at this!!! This needs to go viral.
I enjoy, cause I found just what I was looking for. You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye gmail sign in
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