Choose your own post

A text (again) the other night from my mom:

"NEW POST PLEASE!"

The problem is...too much is going on. So what do I post about?

Do you want to hear about how I can't see my own toes unless I lean forward?

Or would you like to see a picture of Lennon's bedtime entourage (which gets bigger and more ridiculous every night)?

How about Lennon with a soap mohawk?

How about some belly shots I took of myself tonight because Tod is never home and when he is I don't think he wants to take pictures of me in my pink pants to show what my belly looks like at 33 weeks pregnant like the last time I was pregnant and asked him to take my picture and he asked why? so then I started crying because I was pregnant and sort of fat and then I felt stupid?

Or do you want me to tell you how I couldn't decide which looked better -- leg bent, leg straight? So you get both because p.s. I don't care. Oh, and p.s. I REALLY don't care if I wear this exact outfit around town all day long: to the post office, to the bank, to Tod's office, to the park. And then notice how I straightened the towel and moved a couple things around for pic #2 because I want you to think my bathroom is super clean.

Or I could do a post where I ask: Is it a boy or a girl?

Or would you like to know how EVERY SINGLE PERSON who stays at our house asks, "Where's the jam?" and I say, "We don't have jam," and they say, "EVERYONE has JAM," so then both my mother-in-law AND my mom go to the store and buy jam for us.

Well here's a mild example of why we don't have jam. And I mean -- this is MILD.
Or let me tell you a story about how the wind blew so hard last week it literally LIFTED this (see above)...

...and blew it into this (see above). So I told Tod what I found at the bottom of the pool and he used his two bare hands and He-Manned the whole thing out. That Tod, I swear...

How about some pictures of what I do when I need to file stuff for Tod in his office? I go to youtube.com and type in "sea turtles swimming" and I get a good 30 minutes of stuff done.

Or here's a post about the time I turned my back for maybe 20 seconds and Lennon silently dismembered the dishwasher while saying, "I broke it. I broke it. Sorry Mama."

Or how about what life looks like from my point of view (this is right after pancakes and syrup; most of the syrup ends up in his scalp somehow):

Or finally what about a post where I dare anyone to disagree that the blind boy (I'd tell you his name but his performances are so forgettable...) on American Idol would not be on the show if he could see like everyone else. Listen, I have nothing against him as a person. But as far as this competition is concerned, please get him off the show.

And Megan says, "I'd buy his album!" My response: Bull-freaking-crap.

Choose your own post.